Unwise Move

So tomorrow there is a PHOTO SHOOT at work, and being the insanely self obsessed person i am i cannot hope... WISH that some director man will rush up to me and utter the words...

'darling,,, those cheekbones.....that coloring..... IT'S JUST WHAT WE NEED FOR OUR NEW CAMPAIGN'

Now i realise it is HIGHLY unlikely, especially seeing as i am a rumpus size 16 with Jowells instead of some supreme cheesy gap ad model who smiles too much... but YA NEVER KNOW!? So after work i decided that my face needed to be reinvented and so headed to Sephora, to blast my last $100 (which was suppose to last me the rest of week, but as i am converting to model behaviour is probably best i cannot buy food) so in Sephora i went, and was sure that the best, and most supreme way of buying the most affordable & functional items was to ask a sales assistant... now i used to BE one so i really should have known better as this... was a BIG mistake...

Phrases such as;

'Someone with as many flaws as you'
&
'To disguise your double chin'

Kept coming up so i immediately felt unattractive and fat and the entire train trip home, I was trying to hide under my scarf as i was afraid my face was deteriorating due to sun damage.... seemingly by not using a foundation with SPF i have ruined my skin.... FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...

So I am now sat at home, pretentiously studying my pores looking for 'sun spots' which i needed to buy a $40 cream for to begin to help 'recycle what's left of renewable skin cells'... Since WHEN did MAKE UP ASSISTANTS become DOCTORS WITH PHD'S? Who know words such as....

Malignant

&
Peptapeptydes (i am SURE this is made up)

And on top of this i felt so down could not face the horror that is the gym, as half the people on my bloody course go there, and are the kind of people who have.... stomach muscles... and can walk up a flight of stairs without getting huffy puffy... so instead i stayed in watched desperate housewives and ate 2 bowls of pasta, which is especially bad as diet was supposed to start today and the gyn cost me $80 and i still haven't been....ONCE... i also had about onehundredgazillion peanut M&M's as pesky new runner aka Tyra banks kept coming over with bowls full of them whilst showing off her bambi thighs....

Honestly the day has just been HORRIFIC for self esteem... even a homeless man the other night whilst i walked home drunk, offering him my pizza said,

'cor love you look rough'

Dark day... very dark day...

 But am sure tomorrow will be fantastic and will be discovered as the next Sophie Dahl circa 1991!

I really should go & clean the bathroom.... it is starting to grow mould, and no-one will shower in there except me until i have cleaned it.... have promised to clean it for weeks, and housemates are starting to get annoyed... I can tell by frowns and grimaces every time they walk past said bathroom..... ugh..... DONT WANT TO CLEAN HORRID BATHROOM! I think i will go have a nice cigarette and calm down.... can't clean when i'm all stressed like this...

Happy Monday everyone!