So.... Facebook the well known demon of old, it keeps us plunging for the homepage, to desperatly see if everyone else's lives are truly better than our own... deep man... deep!
Anywho, at the moment I have 3 facebook issues,
The first, (and most relate-able i feel) is the age old problem of THE EX, OH YES WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE!! We know the stomach pit hitting feeling when we see the pop up 'so-un-so is in a relationship' and my situation is well.... different... my ex... lets call him.... 'toothy' (name matched description!) instead of just putting it out there, makes me work to find out he's gotta new woman, as the senseless act of facebook stalking commences (weekly with me), i see the picture entitled... 'me & my beautiful girlfriend at my manor' THE DESCRIPTION ALONE IS UPSETTING this leads to rows of questions such as
1 - Is she prettier than me?
2- Is she better in bed than me?
3 - Will he get married before me....
The sad matter of fact is... he has won, and i have lost, he has beaten me in the great race to the finish line, of 'who will die alone and miserable first'... but ON WITH THE LIST!!
The second turmoil is the illusive, 'I was your friend til i got a boyfriend'.... I DO NOT GET THIS!! You're close to someone like never before... then BOOM you're hit, cut out, THROWN TO THE WOLVES!! But hay, looking at you with your profile picture cuddled up to that 'man of yours' only makes me feel sad, that you have lost the life i hold so dear... that's right ladies THE SINGLE LIFE!! This turmoil again is done through pictures, as the pictures of you and your friend slowly diminish and the ones of her & him grow in number... but hay ho... water off a zebra's behind and all that jazz...
The third (and my most ashamed of) turmoil, is when your formerly fat friends GET THIN! I'm not sure about you, but whenever i imagine myself older i imagine my self a thin, radiant, clear skinned goddess, which is just a matter of time before i magically turn into this person... when your friend gets there before you... IT CUTS YOU TO THE CORE!! I mean sure she hit the gym 5 times a week whilst i was hitting Ben & Jerry's (a much better way to spend my time thankyou very much) but why did the big HayZeus decide to grant her the killer abs after 21 years of wanting... and not me... now this is pure selfish vanity going on here, but by god i'm human ain't i??
To give you an update on my life, i'm kinda falling in love with someone at work... who is COMPLETELY OUTTA MY LEAGUE!! I'm talking he was probably the quarterback in school or something, so i'm sat here eating my curds & way & he keeps strolling back...
me - Dooosh ya need anyfink Nate?
Nate- Ummmm no thanks i'm good
me- Owsh well jusht tell me if youou doo
Nate- Uh ok....thanks
Ridiculous
Much love my Lovelies,... and remember... every1's favorite sound, is the sound of their own name!
Soph
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