Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My Issues with Summer


It's so damn hot, and London is like a big glass dome magnifying the heat and frying us all like ants... I'll be honest and tell you I've always had issues with Summer, the long months in between school used to torture me as I sat by my window longing for something to do or the phone to ring, nowadays it's not much different, except I don't get a glorious 3 months off work... WHY of WHYEEEEE didn't I become a teacher?!?

I thought I'd break my issues out into a nice digestible list... complete with titles and gifs, because why not!

Boob jail

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Now I'm not talking bra's in the general sense, but something that happens when I get particularly hot and am wearing a grey top, I'm talking boob SWEAT patches, right underneath those suckers so it looks like I've just gone torso first into a rectangle play pool... so gross, god damn you Summer!

Thigh burn




Now, anyone below a size 14 will probably have no concept of what I'm talking about, but I'm sure all the curvy ladies out there are humming a resounding AMEN SISTER! There are only 2 options for me in the summer when I want to go bare legged; skin colored tights or lashings of Vaseline, neither are ideal when you're paddling in the sea,,,especially the tights option.

Activities




Glastonbury, Wimbledon, T in the Park, Weddings, Bachelorettes, Holidays, City Breaks, BIRTHDAYS, Lovebox, Wireless... I could go on... Not an invitation to one, plus.. WHO CAN AFFORD THESE THINGS?!?

Swimsuits




I want to wear a bikini... but I know I probably shouldn't... Plus doing the stride of pride down the beach always ends up with some kind of body part being unwillingly exposed...

Summer workwear




No matter how many 'cute summer outfits' I look at on Pinterest, they all manage to look terrible on me, where is my oversized winter coat when I need it?!

Salads




I just want to eat soup and bread. Full stop.

Jumper withdrawal




My jumper collection is extensive and adorable and unwearable during the summer months... Fall can't come fast enough

But then I remember... Summer doesn't last forever