So.... Facebook the well known demon of old, it keeps us plunging for the homepage, to desperatly see if everyone else's lives are truly better than our own... deep man... deep!
Anywho, at the moment I have 3 facebook issues,
The first, (and most relate-able i feel) is the age old problem of THE EX, OH YES WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE!! We know the stomach pit hitting feeling when we see the pop up 'so-un-so is in a relationship' and my situation is well.... different... my ex... lets call him.... 'toothy' (name matched description!) instead of just putting it out there, makes me work to find out he's gotta new woman, as the senseless act of facebook stalking commences (weekly with me), i see the picture entitled... 'me & my beautiful girlfriend at my manor' THE DESCRIPTION ALONE IS UPSETTING this leads to rows of questions such as
1 - Is she prettier than me?
2- Is she better in bed than me?
3 - Will he get married before me....
The sad matter of fact is... he has won, and i have lost, he has beaten me in the great race to the finish line, of 'who will die alone and miserable first'... but ON WITH THE LIST!!
The second turmoil is the illusive, 'I was your friend til i got a boyfriend'.... I DO NOT GET THIS!! You're close to someone like never before... then BOOM you're hit, cut out, THROWN TO THE WOLVES!! But hay, looking at you with your profile picture cuddled up to that 'man of yours' only makes me feel sad, that you have lost the life i hold so dear... that's right ladies THE SINGLE LIFE!! This turmoil again is done through pictures, as the pictures of you and your friend slowly diminish and the ones of her & him grow in number... but hay ho... water off a zebra's behind and all that jazz...
The third (and my most ashamed of) turmoil, is when your formerly fat friends GET THIN! I'm not sure about you, but whenever i imagine myself older i imagine my self a thin, radiant, clear skinned goddess, which is just a matter of time before i magically turn into this person... when your friend gets there before you... IT CUTS YOU TO THE CORE!! I mean sure she hit the gym 5 times a week whilst i was hitting Ben & Jerry's (a much better way to spend my time thankyou very much) but why did the big HayZeus decide to grant her the killer abs after 21 years of wanting... and not me... now this is pure selfish vanity going on here, but by god i'm human ain't i??
To give you an update on my life, i'm kinda falling in love with someone at work... who is COMPLETELY OUTTA MY LEAGUE!! I'm talking he was probably the quarterback in school or something, so i'm sat here eating my curds & way & he keeps strolling back...
me - Dooosh ya need anyfink Nate?
Nate- Ummmm no thanks i'm good
me- Owsh well jusht tell me if youou doo
Nate- Uh ok....thanks
Ridiculous
Much love my Lovelies,... and remember... every1's favorite sound, is the sound of their own name!
Soph
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Petty Cash, Stress Eating and Procrastination at work... oh my!
Today is a Tuesday... my most hated day of the week!
Tuesday is and now always will be known to me as PETTY CASH DAY otherwise known as DOOOOOOM!!!
I have never been good with numbers, in fact one of my proudest moments was seeing that big C on my GCSE maths results page (my maths teacher felt the same, to him i was a lost cause to the land of 'maybe she's a little special' land)
So when Petty Cash comes around i dread it, needless to say I am still sat here at 5.21 p.m. with an hour to go till home time, having still not completed it... mother would not be happy!! You see all this worry makes my hand inadvertently dive for the 'free provided' peanut M&M's that lay beside my desk.... whomever decided to put them there IS THE DEVIL AND HATES MY THIGHS!!
But i would not wish them gone... i love peanut m&m's and count them in my 5 a day, though i think someone once told me they are actually a lagume, not a nut... weird if said fact is true!!
Have also spent my workday not filling in greensheets (my other job for today) and have instead attempted numerous times to call my mum from the office, but keep getting found out, which results in me slamming down the work phone with a guilty face... not v good... in all honesty its not my fault my darling only friend at work hasn't handed the info in that i need to complete said dreaded work, but i don't have the heart to be angry with him as he is.... MY ONLY FREIND! I'll probs stay late, but my god i'll get the bugger done!!
Have some SERIOUS bitching to do...
Ok .... so .... ONE .... Last night my oh so lovely irish flat mate lets call her *siobhan* (not real name) made cookies for us and invited us to stay in & watch Gossip Girl... so nice you'll agree!! However, who also turns up, but miss, barge in thru the door, shouting at said flat mate, demanding attention like common hussy.... lets call her *Viki* she just swans in parks herslef in my favourite spot, doesn't even introduce herself to me and continues to give me the stink eye, i'm sorry but... WHAT IS THIS?? Honestly the bitchiness that goes on on this Mountbatten programme is UNREAL! Seemingly when the 'september intake' this being me turned up the reaction was, 'HA HA HA we shall show them... WE SHALL SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS' AND BY GOD THEY HAVE TRIED... but i am a firm believer that politeness shall prevail... so I was polite, ( as i could be) did my friendliest Bristolian accent and troddled on!
Anywhoooo i'm getting particuarly suspicous looks, so will go do work now... much love my lovelies, and remember CARBS ARE YOUR FREINDS!!
P.s. My room mate i have discovered is a do gooder, she's doing a bloody sponsored bike ride for MS sufferers, DO I FEEL BAD OR WHAT!! But i did give a cigarette to a homeless man yesterday... does that count?
Tuesday is and now always will be known to me as PETTY CASH DAY otherwise known as DOOOOOOM!!!
I have never been good with numbers, in fact one of my proudest moments was seeing that big C on my GCSE maths results page (my maths teacher felt the same, to him i was a lost cause to the land of 'maybe she's a little special' land)
So when Petty Cash comes around i dread it, needless to say I am still sat here at 5.21 p.m. with an hour to go till home time, having still not completed it... mother would not be happy!! You see all this worry makes my hand inadvertently dive for the 'free provided' peanut M&M's that lay beside my desk.... whomever decided to put them there IS THE DEVIL AND HATES MY THIGHS!!
But i would not wish them gone... i love peanut m&m's and count them in my 5 a day, though i think someone once told me they are actually a lagume, not a nut... weird if said fact is true!!
Have also spent my workday not filling in greensheets (my other job for today) and have instead attempted numerous times to call my mum from the office, but keep getting found out, which results in me slamming down the work phone with a guilty face... not v good... in all honesty its not my fault my darling only friend at work hasn't handed the info in that i need to complete said dreaded work, but i don't have the heart to be angry with him as he is.... MY ONLY FREIND! I'll probs stay late, but my god i'll get the bugger done!!
Have some SERIOUS bitching to do...
Ok .... so .... ONE .... Last night my oh so lovely irish flat mate lets call her *siobhan* (not real name) made cookies for us and invited us to stay in & watch Gossip Girl... so nice you'll agree!! However, who also turns up, but miss, barge in thru the door, shouting at said flat mate, demanding attention like common hussy.... lets call her *Viki* she just swans in parks herslef in my favourite spot, doesn't even introduce herself to me and continues to give me the stink eye, i'm sorry but... WHAT IS THIS?? Honestly the bitchiness that goes on on this Mountbatten programme is UNREAL! Seemingly when the 'september intake' this being me turned up the reaction was, 'HA HA HA we shall show them... WE SHALL SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS' AND BY GOD THEY HAVE TRIED... but i am a firm believer that politeness shall prevail... so I was polite, ( as i could be) did my friendliest Bristolian accent and troddled on!
Anywhoooo i'm getting particuarly suspicous looks, so will go do work now... much love my lovelies, and remember CARBS ARE YOUR FREINDS!!
P.s. My room mate i have discovered is a do gooder, she's doing a bloody sponsored bike ride for MS sufferers, DO I FEEL BAD OR WHAT!! But i did give a cigarette to a homeless man yesterday... does that count?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Hello, is it me your looking for?
Well Hello there!
Anyone who has dained to visit my little inconsequential blog (apart from my mother) WELCOME!!
Basically have done the ultimate no no and decided to get completely self involved, but allow me to explain what i intend to do with this little message to the universe..
1 - To document my new and temporary life living in New York
2 - To covertly bitch about the people who GRIND ON ME
3 - To inspire/help/aid/ any girls out there like me looking for love, that we all have our own personal tragedies that we must overcome
As this is my first blog i'll just start with a small self indulgent description of my life so far... do not worry have only given my self 500 words to do this!!
My name is Sophia... covert name SophiaWHO many a time said by a boy whom the previous night i had coverted into bed... not really... well maybe...
I am as the title suggests 'round as a rubens' one of my favourite sayings when describing my weight, as you've guessed it, i'm a tubber! Not completly gratuitously fat, but a rounded size 16... don't worry i will supply a picture so ya know what kinda munter you're listening to...
I come from a broken home... WEEP... but really i don't consider it a bad thing... i'm 22, single, and opeing my heart in the big apple, which i have been allowed to live in for a year, due to a slavery contract... only kidding I'M AN INTERN!! God bless us all, we all think we're the luckiest gits in the world when really we're just cheap labour.
I am a white female, if you didn't pick that up already, and I LOVE DOGS. I also love my mum, no seriously too much, i used to have separation anxiety before i went to uni (Newcastle btw) it was fab, met my best friend in the world and guess what... HE'S GAY! I have major love for the gays, which is surprising a once i dated a gay guy (didn't know it at the time) and walked in on him giving another questioanable male freind a blow job....
I work for a post-production company (sounds cooler than it is) and have managed to only develop 1 serious crush on a lovely Jewish boy complete wit h beard & beer belly (Jack Black = my ideal man)
My dad's an opera singer and my mum's a musician who after the messy divorce married the complete polar opposite of my dad, my step dad Mike, a marine engineer from Wales, ever since my life hasn't quite been as glamorous... anywho THAT'S ENPOUGH FOR NOW!!
Talk to ya later... maybe tomorrow
Fags & Booze my freinds, fags & booze!
Anyone who has dained to visit my little inconsequential blog (apart from my mother) WELCOME!!
Basically have done the ultimate no no and decided to get completely self involved, but allow me to explain what i intend to do with this little message to the universe..
1 - To document my new and temporary life living in New York
2 - To covertly bitch about the people who GRIND ON ME
3 - To inspire/help/aid/ any girls out there like me looking for love, that we all have our own personal tragedies that we must overcome
As this is my first blog i'll just start with a small self indulgent description of my life so far... do not worry have only given my self 500 words to do this!!
My name is Sophia... covert name SophiaWHO many a time said by a boy whom the previous night i had coverted into bed... not really... well maybe...
I am as the title suggests 'round as a rubens' one of my favourite sayings when describing my weight, as you've guessed it, i'm a tubber! Not completly gratuitously fat, but a rounded size 16... don't worry i will supply a picture so ya know what kinda munter you're listening to...
I come from a broken home... WEEP... but really i don't consider it a bad thing... i'm 22, single, and opeing my heart in the big apple, which i have been allowed to live in for a year, due to a slavery contract... only kidding I'M AN INTERN!! God bless us all, we all think we're the luckiest gits in the world when really we're just cheap labour.
I am a white female, if you didn't pick that up already, and I LOVE DOGS. I also love my mum, no seriously too much, i used to have separation anxiety before i went to uni (Newcastle btw) it was fab, met my best friend in the world and guess what... HE'S GAY! I have major love for the gays, which is surprising a once i dated a gay guy (didn't know it at the time) and walked in on him giving another questioanable male freind a blow job....
I work for a post-production company (sounds cooler than it is) and have managed to only develop 1 serious crush on a lovely Jewish boy complete wit h beard & beer belly (Jack Black = my ideal man)
My dad's an opera singer and my mum's a musician who after the messy divorce married the complete polar opposite of my dad, my step dad Mike, a marine engineer from Wales, ever since my life hasn't quite been as glamorous... anywho THAT'S ENPOUGH FOR NOW!!
Talk to ya later... maybe tomorrow
Fags & Booze my freinds, fags & booze!
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